When did you last buy flowers for your wife? Was it because you made a mistake? Maybe you forgot an anniversary? Perhaps you were late to pick up the kids from practice? You may have even stayed out with the boys just a little too long (shouldn’t have had that final drink, eh?). If you are like so many sedated men across the country (dare I even say the globe), flowers are the perpetual sign of “I am sorry I did something that I shouldn’t have done.” Although the flowers you present come in all shapes, sizes, and fragrances, they might as well all be white, sterile flags of you begging for forgiveness.
But, imagine the possibility of flowers becoming a symbol of male power. A preverbal sign of excellence in your relationship and all that it stands for. Sounds like a version of the truth written right out of a science fiction novel, right? I have some truly shocking news for you. It is not. Not in a healthy relationship. Not in what it means to be a 4-dimensional man in a modern society.
We, as modern men, have been given the example by our fathers of flowers being the “go to” for an easy “I am sorry.” It has been passed down from generation to generation almost as a rite of passage. This metaphorical “passing of the rose scented torch” seems to have never been questioned.
Well, It’s Time We Ask Some Serious Questions About Flowers
It is time we question how often we give them to the women in our lives. It’s time we question why we give them to the women in our lives. It is time we create a new definition of what flowers mean.
I propose a healthy modern relationship will have flowers presented consistently. They will be presented on Tuesdays because you thought about her. They will be given on a Thursday because you know she had a tough day at the office. They will be given on a Sunday over a handmade brunch, just to see her smile.
You see flowers are like magic bullets that we only shoot out of desperation. The “Hail Mary” of the dating and marriage world. But they don’t need to be. They should be the first down, hand-the-ball-to-the-tailback-and-let-him-run-between-the-tackles. (Forgive the football reference, but this is written on a Sunday afternoon.)
A weekly presentation of flowers to the women in your life (yes women—think wife, daughter, mother, and sister) is one of the easiest and most impactful things you can do.
News Flash: It’s not the Flowers that Matter
Truly, they don’t. What matters is the thought process behind them. What matters is the gesture of love and compassion that goes into going out of your way to drive to a store, select flowers, pay for them, keep them alive and then hand them to your special lady.
Yes…you are actually going to have to do the work yourself. Calling a delivery service to hand her flowers is comparable to calling your college roommate to take her out to dinner. Sure, you can do it. But quickly you will realize the questionable nature of the decision as your lady is subjected to all of the “kegs and eggs” stories that you hoped died with your popped Lacoste collars.
When you begin to take the time to do the little things, like getting her weekly flowers, the bigger things seem to magically become easier. The conversations about “guys nights” seem to go a little more smoothly. The idea of playing golf on a Saturday afternoon will no longer seem so frustrating.
But admittedly, these are fringe benefits. The byproduct of consistently letting the ladies in your life know that they matter. If you buy flowers with the intent of earning “goodwill”, the pleasant aroma of the bouquet will soon be tarnished with the scent of Pepé Le Pew.
Take the time to buy flowers consistently to let her know she matters. The easiest way to realize it is time to buy her more is when you notice the flowers in the vase on the counter are wilted, dried up, and pedal-less. Dead flowers end up always being the best flowers as they are the pleasant reminder of how much you love her, and that it is time to buy her more.