Nothing says family drama like the dynamic between parents and teens arguing about control, boundaries, and freedom. But parents are sometimes also part of why these clashes happen. Understanding how to deal with your children’s journey to adolescence and hormonal changes can make a difference, so Project Bold Life has put together seven positive parenting strategies for the teenage years. Check them out!
(Exercise like a kid again–read this Project Bold Life story and find out how!)
The Science Behind Teenage Rebellion
Teenage rebellion, or the defiant behavior of teens against their parents’ rules, isn’t because they love rebelling. Conflict between teens and their parents or guardians also has a scientific basis. The difficult teenage phase is part of your child’s growth and development and mostly shows with their need for independence and separate identity.
During teenage rebellion, the part of the brain controlling decision-making, personality expression, and social behavior starts developing and would get into more practice. Due to this, teenagers test everyone’s boundaries and argue to improve their decision-making process. In addition, studies in the early 2010s also note that teenagers tend to be more impulsive and risk-taking due to the prefrontal cortex’s development.
1.  Understand and Let Go
Wanting to protect and keep their children safe from harm is part of your parental instincts. But your willingness to continuously provide your child from the world also makes them feel suffocated and troubled. Separation is easier for teens to process because of their brains’ development. Due to that, they tend to disregard more rules as it makes them feel more in control of themselves.
The teenage years are full of changes, growth, and development, and they don’t finish until their 20’s. Parents should understand that their so-called misbehaviors are part of their biology as adolescents. Things like early wake-up calls could be a struggle because their biology also affects their sleeping patterns.
Being more aware and understanding of why they start acting out is essential to any successful teen parenting adventure. In addition, parents taking a step back from their need to keep their children protected helps.
2.  Keep Calm and Listen
Two things that often escalate an argument between parents and teenagers are stress and emotions. Although child-rearing is full of stressful experiences, parents should understand that the continuous changes in a teenager’s brain, body, and environment are equally stressful. But unlike them, your brain and body are fully formed, allowing you to look at things more rationally.
Achieving a successful talk requires you to stay calm and level-headed. Don’t take things personally whenever your child argues with you. Most of their disagreements come from their perception of taking their independence from parental control. Instead of pushing and pulling, take time-outs and calm down.
In addition, be an active listener. Always pay close attention to your teenager’s words, actions, and body language. It also emphasizes to your child that you care about their opinions, thoughts, and feelings.
3.  Emphasize Positivity in Your Parenting Strategies
Dealing with teenage rebellion could result in negativity bias, meaning it’s highly likely for the brain to respond more strongly to negative information than positive details. Due to that, experts recommend keeping negative feelings at a minimum when you deal with your children.
Emphasize positivity instead of enforcing negativity bias when parenting and communicating with teenagers. Add positive practices to your parenting strategies and be more emphatic. Here are some things you can do to enforce them.
- Daily routine of sharing one’s day at dinner or before bed
- Acknowledgement and appreciation of positive teenage experiences
- Creating positive habits through open communication and understanding
4.  Set Boundaries and Expectations
One notable tip parents should always do when parenting teenagers is to set boundaries and expectations. Being a cool parent doesn’t mean giving your children leeway in everything. Although parents need to loosen the reins a bit, giving them an exception whenever they misbehave isn’t part of it.
Teens require a clear line between what they can do and don’t, as they tend to act more impulsively and dangerously due to puberty. Always involve your children in discussing and setting family rules on behavior and actions. Doing this allows them to keep their sense of independence while understanding every boundary you set.
5.  Always Keep Communication Open
Effective communication is the core of any healthy relationship and is one of the best tips for parents with difficult teenagers. Parenting is a 24/7 job without time-outs, meaning parents could get distracted and lose focus on checking in with their children.
Despite their need for independence and separation, teenagers require a more open and consistent line of communication. Always take the time to talk and chat with your kids and prioritize quality time with them. Scheduling family meetings can also help in discussing conflicts and confusion.
6.  Keep Your Teen’s Mental Health Healthy
Teenagers are more vulnerable to mental health disorders due to the rapid changes they’re experiencing during puberty. Social and biological factors make them more prone to stress, which could impact their brain chemistry.
Develop healthy social and emotional interactions to keep their overall well-being healthy. Start by teaching your teen the best practices for mindfulness and emotion management. It’s also best to encourage them with healthier eating and sleeping habits.
7.  Consider Asking for Professional Help
There are things that parents can’t control, no matter how much they support and care for their children. Adolescence is always a tumultuous period for your children. Sometimes, the best way to help them is to seek professional help. Parents should be more open to the idea of support groups and therapists, as they are more experienced and well-equipped to help their teenagers with their problems.
Don’t forget the book that lays out the principles of goal-achievement and attaining a Bold Life!
